


Ticking Clocks and Carousels

by lynxyne



Series: Dueling is More Than Roses: Zexal RGU AU [1]
Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena, Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Emotional Manipulation, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Manipulation, Misgendering, Multi, Near Death Experiences, Other, Trans Character, Transphobia, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 23:05:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4583562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynxyne/pseuds/lynxyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Starting from the end, and creating a whole new beginning. Yuuma had only wanted to save the rose bride, and yet he finds himself tangled up in a web he's unsure he can ever escape from.]</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first of multiple Zexal in a Revolutionary Girl Utena AU fics I intend on writing. Based off of last episode of Revolutionary Girl Utena, so spoilers ahead. Everyone in this fic is trans. Make sure to read tags, and be careful.</p>
<p>Both chapters will be able to read on their own if you'd like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ticking Clocks and Carousels

Yuuma hardly flinches when he feels the sword stab through his midsection. It hurts, oh god does it hurt, but the shock runs through him more than anything else. His eyes widen, tears prickling at the edges. “Alit..?”

“I’ve never been happier than when you treated me like your friend, Yuuma,” Alit’s voice rings out, laced with malice, “but you can never be my prince.”

Yuuma lets out a sob. Blood soaks through his coat as Alit pulls the sword out, seemingly caring very little as to how much pain it causes him. Was it really all for nothing? It couldn’t be… He wouldn’t believe that, no matter how hurt he was, in every way. He wouldn’t believe that his friendship with Alit was all just an act, something to get on his good side and manipulate him. And for what reason, Entertainment? 

Alit was so different now, nothing like when he first met him, so kind and full of joy. He was hardened now, and he has to wonder if that was really the case or if he’d just been putting up a front to make Yuuma happy. He's not sure which hurts less, and the fact he doesn’t even know is even worse than that. He struggles to maintain his breathing, just wanting to scream, to sob, to beg for help. But nobody here is going to do that. He’s almost thankful for Alit’s warm embrace, but he feels it won’t be there for long.

Sure enough, Alit sets him on the ground, and he feels himself fade, feels fear finally grip his system. He’s dizzy and terrified, unsure of everything he’d once considered unchallenged. Why did this have to happen? 

“It was a good try, really,” says a fairly biting voice, and he turns to see it’s Vector, seated on a slowly spinning carousel. “I know you’re just a girl, but I nearly thought you really could be Alit’s prince. It was impressive, you know!”

Yuuma chokes out, “I’m not a girl,” but even to him the words come out hollow and scared now. He’s not sure about even that anymore. He misses home, misses feeling cared for and safe, misses his friends. He wants anything, anything but this. His body is so tired, and he doesn’t have the energy to do anything but lay and let whatever may happen do so, and he feels so lost. Maybe giving up now really was the best option? He sobs, and wonders what hurts most right now.

Next thing he knows, Phecda gently wipes his tears, cradling his body as if he was made of porcelain. “Oh, poor princess,” he says in a tone that almost taunts him, daring him to correct it, but he lays limp. Did he really believe he was a prince? It feels like a joke now.

“You’ve done so much for our dear rose bride, really. Alit could have never hoped for such a genuine friendship like yours,” Phecda continues, a sound of wonder in his voice at that. I didn’t want a fake friendship like that, he thinks. I wanted to save him, I wanted to be the prince I’d always dreamed of. But he keeps his mouth shut. “Nothing else can be done, Yuuma! Nobody can ever save her, she chose this for herself you know?”  
Of course he knows, but that doesn’t make it any less unfair. To sacrifice, and only for Vector to live a life of luxury as he suffers for eternity… He scowls. He’s sure that they could save Alit, if they only kept hope, if they didn’t stop trying. He holds his tongue, but even then, Phecda- no, Vector now- seems to know intuitively what he has to say. 

“You think I didn’t try to save her?” he says, continuing without waiting for an answer, “Nothing ever works, Yuuma. I tried, over and over and over! It means nothing. I’m not the prince I used to be, and I never will be again. He’s doomed to this.” 

The prince from his dreams… Really was someone so willing to give up. Is everything a lie, he wonders? He wishes he never had to think these things. Not like it would stop the thoughts from filling his head, doubt and misery. Vector seems giddy at the look of despair on his face, and Yuuma finds himself at a loss for words. 

He lets out a cry as pain shoots through his abdomen, and god, is he going to die like this? Vector puts a finger to his lips, giggling. At some point, he leaves, although Yuuma can’t grasp when. The passage of time has started to elude him, blinded by pain and distrust. 

He wishes for the tick of a clock as he lays, bleeding out slowly and cruelly. He never asked for this, never wanted to know the touch of death. At least not until he’d been older, been ready… He puts a hand to his wound, nausea hitting him as he pulls it away coated in his own blood. 

Yuuma is sure Vector had instructed this, told Alit that playtime was over, and it hurts to imagine he’d ever believed the front Vector had put up. Cheerful, just wanting to help out the friends of his siblings and look at the stars. 

Yuuma had joined him for that once, smiling widely as Vector listed of constellation after constellation. He remembered how his heart soared as he swung an arm around his shoulder, pointing upwards towards another cluster of stars and whispering, “you know, the big dipper is my personal favorite.” He’d felt special, maybe even cherished, like he’d been let in on a secret. Now he only felt used.

He thought back to a different night, one rather peculiar. The night he’d realized he was only being manipulated. How tears threatened to fall as he whispered, “I’d only came to deliver the roses.” The lights were so bright as they drove back that night, the sky completely dark and polluted by the street’s illumination. Thought of the false smile on his face as he told Kotori of the night’s events, and how much she’d ooo’d and aaah’d at the events. She didn’t understand, she couldn’t, not when he was just as much of a liar as all of them. He could never tell anyone the full story, he admitted to himself. He remembered Kotori’s look of confusion and concern as he admitted that he wondered if he was a boy, after that. 

Used, tossed aside when he was no longer an entertaining toy to play with. Alit had remarked that he was only a doll, but was he any better, now? He thinks back to before he’d gotten to Vector’s house with the flowers he’d been given, and remembers thinking that the stars were really pretty that night.

None of it really matters now, he thinks, closing his eyes and feeling the last of his passion fade. Nothing really- oh, god. Oh no. 

He’s brought back to life with a feeling of horror as the sound of swords, thousands of them, slicing through Alit’s body reaches his ears. “Alit!” he cries, the name sounding sharp and desperate. Struggling forward, he sees the near stream of swords coming towards Alit with no end in sight.

Is this what Alit always went through, he wonders? Was this why he was so desperate to end his own life, the one night Yuuma had come to take his hand and guide him back to their room? Should he have saved him, when he had to endure so much pain forever like this? He thinks of his own wound, how much a single sword hurts, and nearly vomits imagining the sheer pain Alit must be going through right now.

He reaches shakily for the very sword that had caused his suffering, but it’s snatched away by Vector, who chuckles and mutters that he was “just a bit too late, Yuuma-kun!” As he tries to crawl again, he has to admit, Vector was right. He was too late. He resigns himself to just watching Vector’s strides towards the door, towards Alit’s freedom. Well, less strides and more… Bouncing. 

Despite what’s obviously Vector’s best attempts to open the door, but soon enough gives up with a sigh. He seems oddly unbothered when he drops the sword, muttering that this was way too much effort for nothing.

Yuuma takes this chance, reaching for the sword with confidence now. Vector lets out an interested, “Oh?” as he struggles, straining to just barely reach it and bring it towards himself. He kicks it just out of his reach with a chuckle. 

“You know it’s pointless. Even I couldn’t open the door, Yuuma, and I’m the real prince. Unlikely it’d open for some imitation.”

“Nothing is pointless,” he grits out, grabbing the sword and to stand. Vector gapes at this fairly obviously, unsure whether to mock him for his refusal to give up, or just push him over and get this all over already.

Pain throbs through every inch of Yuuma’s body, and climbing over the small barricade to get to the walkway nearly kills him. Quite literally. There’s quite a drop from there, and if he were to stumble… So much for his dream of heroic feats. He grabs brokenly at the door handles, tears running down his face without restraint now. They refuse to budge, and he finds himself thinking… This isn’t right, it can’t be.

However, as he continues to pull, the doors start to give. Glee fills him, and a grin stretches across his face. Using almost all of his energy, he finally pulls the doors open.

**Author's Note:**

> wow, so i havent written (or at least published anything) in a long time and this is so weird to publish?? but i would REALLY love and appreciate if anyone who reads would leave a kudos if they like it and a comment either way if they can!!
> 
> ive put a looot of thought in this au so i plan at least a one shot for each character i have in this au, and likely a larger fic if i can manage. (meaning: a fic for mizael, fuuya, vector, alit, yuuma, nasch, dr. faker, merag, and kotori. THATS A LOT.)   
> feel free to talk to me about the au/ask questions in the comments! im totally up to discussing my "casting" decisions too because like, honestly i could talk about this for a long time. constructive criticism or correction is cool too!
> 
> you can contact me at bpdmanami.tumblr.com :3c


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